Trust in a relationship

Trust is one of the main key in a perfect relationship, and it is the most fragile element that can break easily. Keeping trust forever is not an easy thing. Most people look at trust as a threatening and sensitive burden. But if you concern about it with more care, it’s not a difficult thing to do and it matters to have best time of your lives. Trust can do so many happy things to a relationship, but the best thing it can do is bring both of you closer, avoid pain and hurt, Further it will lead a way to make both of you fall more in love with each other every single day.

Trust is building little by little, it never take very long leaps. And it’s starting since the very first moment that you meet your partner. Look at this example, when you have little comfort in front of your partner, then the next step is touch his or her hand, but for the very first time, it very nervous. It’s because still we do not know that, what the consequence of it is. Simply we have a doubt about it. In other words we don’t have trust about the consequence. But, when you do it for your first time, you feel little trust about your partner and you move to the next step, it’s may be the first kiss, and then to the next step. So eventually, when you past incident by incident, life gets a bit manageable and both of you start to open up with each other. This way you make the trust in your relationship. So each and every single of incident that happens, make trust in you and your partner. and accordingly it makes both of your comfortable in your relationship. So that’s why every single incident is so important for the trust. 

If we go beyond above levels, there are some other ways too for Build the trust. If you really serious about your relationship, always make future plans. Guess what you and your partner gonna do in next five years of time. May be building a big house, or buying a nice car. By talking about the future, you’re reassuring your partner that you truly want to be with them and see them in your life even as the years and decades pass by. And always be there when they want you. When they want to cry, give your shoulder lie on, when they want a protection, be a guardian, when they are grounded, give them a hope. Acknowledge that they have no other but you are.

And the other important thing is being opened, in front of your partner. Too many people never let their partners know what they need. Let them know your desires, let them show your feelings, may be your feelings and desires are dirty. But telling those or showing those, you may feel much comfort. And let them know that, you don’t have any person to tell or show your feelings and desires in this world. They will realize it. But it doesn’t mean, they must accept it or they must go with those. But after all, they know who you are and what you want. So... Build trust in a relationship and it’ll go a long way in creating a happy relationship.

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Little things will make your romance better.

Sometimes Love and romance not depend on the very expensive gifts, or luxurious vacations. True love is really depending on bunch of little acts and concerns what you are doing in your day today life. Sometime you may, hope to give very expensive gifts for your partner, same time you may forget to say “I love you” for months. It doesn’t matter whether you give an expensive gifts or cheap. for instance, I remember one male celebrity gave $ 300,000 worth Canary Yellow diamond ring, to his bride. But just after 7 years they split. So…All you need is a lot of love and caring. And this can take you both a long way into marital bliss.

Well…what are those, little things that you could do for your lover? I’ll get nice example, once I had good friend, and he had a beautiful wife too. He was doing work in his office very hard, stressfully. So…at the end of the day, when he went to home' his wife, never asked about his day. Or never touch at least his hand. She just gives something to drink and talk about something and then, normal day today life. But one day, his friend asked him to go for a social club. So after very hard working stressful day, he went there. He met a women there and, “She asked “Hi…how was the day for you” Ironically my friend told all about his office and how hard it was. So… he got very relax. Since that day, he went to this social club on regular basis, and meet that woman. Believe me, he was very good family guy and didn’t go beyond that level with that women. But now he likes that woman and visit her most of the days. Actually it was a very little thing which can done by his wife. But she didn’t do and it really matters to him with his busy life. so those type of little things are really matters to a perfect relationship. perhaps, It may not for every day. I know, nowadays are really busy for both males and females. But keep your mind that, it will keep both of you much alive.

  

When you get a chance, always try to remind that how your lover, meant to you. May be how nice he or she, how much you love, Compliment her or him, the way his looks, her hair, her smile, her voice, her eyes, his sense of humor, her or his intelligence, something she has achieved, something she is proud of doing, The way he makes you feel so special and cared for, his caring touch, his passionate behavior, his possessiveness, etc. When you are going to be late getting home or when you have to meet your partner, call and let them know that you’ll be late. It is very inconsiderate to make your partner wait without calling. Hold each other’s hand in public. A little public display of affection is always good for love and it will make trust and rely on each other.

In spite of the fact that they are “little” they can mean so much to your lover, and ensure that your partner would be fulfilled and happy in your relationship or marriage. And when your loved one is happy, you’re happy, so it’s a win-win situation. These are just a few of the little things in love that really count more than all the gifts and wealth in the world. There are many more, and surely you can think of a few. Just as long as it doesn’t cost money, and makes your sweetheart feel special and cared for, it’s all great. Always remember, it’s the little acts of love and cute love actions that matter more than anything else in the world for two people in love.

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How beauty matters to the relationship?

Actually what role plays beauty in a love affair? Is there any truth if you are not a pleasant, Handsome or beautiful person, you may never enjoy a long lasting relationship? Does it really beauty matters to a perfect relationship? 

Of course… if you are a pleasant, beautiful or handsome person, you blessed in born and you have more chances to be attracted by lot of people. it will play a major role at the starting point of a relationship. And it will make additional confidant in you. Anyone will think twice before they breakup with you. But above all do not mean, that you gonna have a perfect life long relationship with true love. True love matters to something else like, mutual bonding, understanding, unconditional love and eternal desire.

If you have a great relationship with beautiful or handsome person or if you married to someone looks like that, otherwise if you are a really beautiful person, yet your relationship or marriage going to ruin your life, can beauty save your relationship or marriage? It can’t save you. That’s the occasion for mutual bonding, understanding and eternal desire come to play roll for you. Not only that, it will play a major role by personal qualities and wisdom too. Not like born in beauty, these things you can think and make in yourself.

I had a real good story here. This happened to one of my friend. He was a good looking guy and married to pleasant women. They have 2 nice children too. This guy was a pianist. He was playing piano for parties and weddings. So he had plenty of opportunities to make easy relationships with many ladies and he did it. So… he played this dirty game for years. His wife knew about this and she cried a lot and asked him to stop this unpleasant habit. But he didn’t. She loved this guy very much and she didn’t leave him because of that. But one night he got a terrible accident with a lorry and his leg broke in to four parts; his nose got a bad injury and totally changed his look. Now he looks like a clown in a circus. Even I couldn’t recognize him. But his wife never left him. She loved him more and more. Then He realized what the love, relationship and the life is. He realized that his good look didn’t save his marriage but his lovely wife’s real love.

It doesn’t matter whether you are a beautiful, handsome, pleasant or unpleasant person.You need to continually work on beautifying your heart which describes who you are and how you relate with others. In fact, this kind of beauty makes you confident to stand before the society and present what you may have for them. In time, people will notice your attractive heart and, the right person will definitely be attracted to you. Even, if some people might consider you as an unpleasant person, Just know that as long as you are not unpleasant in your heart and you will enjoy a real life lasting relationship one day.

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How lucky you are?

Sometimes everybody feels lonely and lost their minds. Happiness is not around. Feel very sad. Perhaps this may happens for someone to entire life for his or her. That is very sad thing to happen for anyone.  Love is never touching their heart. Always live with broken hearted.  Happiness is not much friend with them. Life feels as a misery.  Yet nobody can tell they suffer their life. They are doing well just for outside. They also pretend they do well. But their inside is flaming. Lots of honest and good people are always suffering.  Why those guys are suffering their life so much, rather than enjoying it? You may see, there are people who make laugh others well. But if you look in to their heart, most of the time their inside is mourning and they live alone.  There is a one big reason for this. Ironically, the reason is their own mindset.

This happens due to not having a chance to expose their wonderful ideas for someone or due to not having a loving association, not having a chance to reveal their desires. The worse thing is they don’t have an ability to make a close relationship with someone. As an example, suppose there is a boy who likes a girl. But he never let this know to that girl. But he is dying for this girl in his mind. There may be lots of reasons for this. Shy, fear and may be inferiority complex. All these emotions are personality issues. All those emotions come due to not having self confidence about them.  They always undervalue themselves. They think others are more powerful and attractive. And they pay over respect for others.  This thing happens to you too?

This loneliness brings to you by your own mindset.  Acknowledge your mind that, you are a handsome boy or a beautiful girl. Think that one day you gonna be rich. Remember the power, is the key for living in this world. So… More power will win easily. It’s very true for anything. It is the main fact for human evolution too. Less power always go down and down. But this power not means the physical power always, in modern era. It will be the mental power too. Look at the people who have more abilities than the normal people. They always win this world. (But same time, gaining power doing bad things make others cry. Never make your happiness on others pain.  Because,’ someday you have to pay the dues). Don’t ever, feel yourself as a looser. Recognize your potentials and follow them.   Love yourself always. Before anyone loves you, you love yourself. When you begin to love you, eventually, your mind tells you what the next step is. Think, everyone comes to this world for a purpose. And think, there’s always someone who has it worse than you! So take a look inside yourself, you’ll realize you're really blessed, No matter how inside you're blue, Find your dream love, let show them your values, Find your potential and Feel how lucky you are.

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Can make anyone love you?

Women can make any man love her? Or a man can make any women love him? What makes someone actually love you? Is it really possible to make anyone love you?

Make anyone love at you is mostly depend on what? Probably it depends on the money and beauty. Probably it may depend on your attitudes or qualities and the way you deal with it.

When we consider about the beauty, reality is all we not born with the beauty. Of course, if we want we could do some artificial things to our body as well as face for add more beauty to our look, like celebrities. But to do that and maintain it, you need considerable amount of money. On the other hand, even if you born with the beauty, if you do not maintain it, that beauty will fade quickly. So the fact is, stay in beautifully, you need money somehow. Other thing is without any beauty and just as being a human being, yet you have big money, you can make someone love you. When you have a nice car or nice house and if you can throw some money for fashion, then you can earn good associations of people. So…you believe it or not, if you have enough money and beauty, you have more chances to make anyone loves you. Unfortunately, that is not true love at all. It is just some selfish attraction between the two of you. In simple terms, you can make someone likes you and even lust for you by admiring your body. And if you lose your money or fade your beauty, love also, fade accordingly. But there is another vital factor here. After falling love with, if both of you bond with your souls, no matter what happened after, you people feel the real love too and stay together for entire life.

On the other hand, attitudes or qualities of yours, means kindness, honesty, and do respect for others and etc. those will help others to make love you. But here, that person also should have a good honest and kind heart to understand how beautiful your soul is. But to obtain this type of understanding about you, in their mind, firstly you need a good approach at them. When you have some friendship with them, you have a chance to let show your qualities for them. But we can’t just approach to any person we wish, without any major reason. It will be a very difficult task to do. But this type of relationship has more chances to long last than others.

So the either way of above, you have a chance to make anyone love you. But keep remember that making real love is not mattress with physical factors. It matters only with soul.

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Love needs care and concern.

Some people believe love is happening for no reason in between two people. It’s just happen and no exact reason or definition for that. So is that the way you think?

Yes…above conclusion may very true for very beginning of a love affair. It’s because at the very first site, we feel love just for first impression. That’s the romance. It happens automatically. But this reality may valid just for few days. Coz’ day by day we get to know each other in deeply. And this understanding will be the key for perfect long term love affair. In that case to keep this wonderful love in live, we need real concerns for sure. In shortly, when time is passing we need good reasons for this love to keep alive. Otherwise it never goes “automatically”.

Time may erode the feelings of care, love and concern in even the best of relationships. Sometime People stop doing the easy nice little things they used to do for each other because they're too tired, or start waiting for the other person to do something nice first. Eventually, both people feel taken for granted and horribly lonely.

Many people think that love should not require any effort. But the truth is, love requires regular refinement of basic relationship skills. Skills such as listening with understanding, expressing feelings with kindness, and resolving conflict without lapsing into criticism. Couples use these relationship enhancement skills generously in the early stages of their relationship. Over time, however, people stop using their skills and rely more and more with increasing resentment on the hope of getting what they want. They stop doing what they gladly did at the beginning.

Some people thinks, “If I have to work so hard in love, something must be wrong with the relationship” or “Isn't love supposed to be spontaneous?” never think in that way. It surely needs care and concern. Otherwise one day or another, your place in the relationship, may be taken by another person forever.

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Love and Hate

Do you hate the person, once you loved, after breakup with them? Or did you love someone but now you hate? Well…some of the romantic stories are ended up with hating to each others, so badly.  Not only that but also, it may occur some violence upon it. It’s very unfortunate.  But of course, it depends on the situation. Anyhow, and at any circumstance, is it really possible to hate the person once you loved so much?

Most of the time, when we love someone for real, we may say “I’ll do anything for you”. But the same time we also hope the return love from them. So in this case actually we do not love them. Instead of we love ourselves. We know that, when we love so much for someone, that one also love us in return in that much. If that person, is not doing love so much for us, or cheating on us, that’s the turning point for begin the hating.  It’s natural for most of the people. So the point, here is, we love only ourselves. Not for them. That’s why, after they breakup with us, we do hate them. But if we really loved them, even if they left us we don’t hate them and we wish them instead.

If you can still stay really calm, when your lover left you or, cheated on you, still it’s a real love. But of course, if they do cheat on you, don’t need to love them more and more. Simply let them go away from your life and Think it’s as a blessing for you. So you don’t need to hate them.  Just don’t keep the hard feelings for cheaters.
 

Though above is the physical aspect of love and hate, how this occurs in our brain? 

The Public Library of Science led by Professor Zeki of the University College London revealed that neurologically, "love" and "hate" are similar... Is that amazing?

Although emotional opposites, it appears that some of the nervous structures in the brain responsible for hate are the same as those used during feelings of romantic love. Like love, hate is often seemingly irrational and can lead to similar acts of extreme behavior - both heroic and evil.

One would think that both love and hate would be entirety driven by the limbic system, as this is the seat of our emotion and intuition. But Professor Zeki's work demonstrates that a part of the brain called the putamen is also involved. The putamen sits at the centre of the brain and appears to provide connections between the lower parts of the brain, such as the basal stem, and the upper parts of the brain in the cerebral cortex. The putamen is already known to be involved in the perception of contempt and disgust and may also be part of the motor system involved in movement and action.

However, although the circuitry is similar, the way in which it is used for both love and hate is different. One major difference appears to be in the fact that large parts of the cerebral cortex - associated with judgment and reasoning - become de-activated during love, whereas only a small area is deactivated in hate.

This may seem surprising since hate can also be an all-consuming passion like love. But in romantic love, the lover is often less critical and judgmental about their partner whereas it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgment in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise exact revenge. Therefore the rational, cerebral functions stay activated in order to make these decisions.

The study also speculated that while the "love circuit" seems to be programmed for loving just one person, the "hate circuit" appears to be capable of targeting groups of people based on their race, religion or even the football club they support.

The fact that the cerebral brain appears to be less involved in love may give some substance to the saying "love is blind". On the other hand, this research suggests that the "hate circuit" is far more calculating and much more complex.

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